God Damn It Person of the Day - Tourists Who Take Forever To Pay For Cabs

Everyday I encounter people I like to call God Damn It people.  These are people who fill their own stereotype in such an annoying, textbook and frustrating way that you have no response but to shake your head and say "God Damn It".  It works for members of your own people too.  Like if a Jewish kid from Long Island were to say "all I do is smoke blunts and play beer pong," I would have no response but to shake my head and say "God Damn It".

Today's God Damn It person of the day is the tourist who takes 10 minutes to pay for a cab.

Here's the situation: you're late to work, or the airport, or a train, at an annoying hour of the day, and there are no cabs.  Oh cabs are coming by, but they're full, and you say to yourself, "where the fuck did all these people get these cabs if  I've been staring down 6th Avenue for 20 minutes and I haven't seen a single light?" But then the miracle happens, someone has miraculously chosen your pickup point as their destination.  The cab pulls up and some fat woman in a mickey mouse print shirt with a fanny pack sits there for the next 8 minutes trying to figure out the credit card machine while you freeze your nuts off.  The technology is simple enough, you select the credit card option, the tip and then you swipe.  It works like every credit card machine has since 1987 across the entirety of the United States.  You've had the entire trip to consider your tip, select your credit card, and make a god damn decision.  But no, you feel the need to take your time, slowly peruse your options, only to change your mind on the $1.18 tip three times.

Meanwhile, I'm sitting out here, and all of a sudden unoccupied cabs suddenly start whizzing by, but I can't take them.  Why?  because I'm pot committed now, and I'm going to wait until this tourist from South Dakota figures out the miracles of modern day technology before she gets out to wait in line for tickets to the matinee performance of "Spamalot."  Oh and don't give me the "this crazy technology never works right"  look as you get out, I watched the entire thing go down.  You clicked cash, then clicked back, then got declined.  If your traveling on a fixed budget, take the fucking subway, its not rocket science down there either.  God Damn It.