Monday, March 7, 2011

You Can't Possibly Be Serious - The Car Faster Than a Speeding Bullet




WSJ - Formula 1 is seen as the apogee of engineering excellence and automotive power. So it says something that in Bloodhound SSC — the car that, if all goes well, in 2013 will shatter the current land speed record.  “We are creating the ultimate car; we’re going where no-one has gone before,” said Richard Noble, the project director.  The car, which Mr. Noble says takes £10,000 a day just to keep it ticking over, will be powered by not one, but two other engines.  Bloodhound is not just about shattering records, says Mr. Noble: “The primary objective of Bloodhound is to inspire the next generation to pursue careers in science and engineering.”

There is nothing I hate more than technology and defense companies spending money on useless vanity projects.  Who the hell cares who holds the land speed record?  Honestly, short of Vin Diesel, Paul Walker and every Asian guy with a Honda civic, who the hell wants to see a super car drag race across some desert?  Have you ever watched drag racing on ESPN2 at like 2:30 on a Sunday?  Its about as enthralling as the Antiques Roadshow or watching paint dry.  I challenge anyone to find one person watching that isn't saying, "come on...explosion, come on, giant crash, COME ON, PLEASE LET THE BRAKE PARACHUTES FAIL!"  If you're all about records why not go for something cool like trying to break the record for getting to JFK at rush hour, or bring Evil Kenevil out of retirement to jump this thing over the grand canyon?  How about something with a little panache?  At least make a Nazi war criminal stand out on the track and fly past him at Mach 2 so he shits his pants or something crazy like that.  

Meaningless records aside though, the thing that bothers me the most about this super car is that these engineers are spending $16,000 a day to "inspire the next generation to pursue careers in science and engineering."  Hey Mr. Noble, here's an idea, if you want to help the next generation of scientists and engineers, give $16,000 dollars to kids who cant afford a degree in science or engineering.  Create a "useless records" scholarship at MIT.  25% of American children will soon be living in poverty and you're spending $16,000 on a god damn rocket-car?  How about using $16,000 a day to work on projects that actually matter like clean drinking water or alternative energy?  I can try to tolerate these guys spending $16,000 because they think it makes them cool, but don't sit there and pretend you're a source of inspiration to all the aspiring rocket-car builders out there.

Hey rocket-car engineers, we all know you're over-compensating here, and I think you forgot that you can't take girls out in a one-seat missile car.  Do us all a favor, leave the cutting-edge superfluous technology to Red Bull and go back to the lab you nerds.

PS - How do they not hook this car up with a cooler paint job? Throw some flames on the hood or something.

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